Women helping Women connects Arizona to Australia

(a copy of an e-mail from Linda in Arizona to Helen in Australia)

 

Hi Helen, 

My name is Linda, a recovering compulsive gambler from Arizona. I have been in recovery for 6 months and the changes in my life due to this are remarkable. First and foremost, I believe I am worth all the wonderful things that are happening in my life. Just half a year ago, I never would have said that. There is no way for me to describe how great it is going to bed at night and knowing that I have gone through one more day without gambling. I had been walking around with so much shame and guilt that I couldn't look anyone in the eye and my family and friends became objects of avoidance because I knew I was hurting them and didn't want to see the pain in their eyes. My life was spiraling out of control, not only financially, but I was obsessed with thoughts and plans of gambling even when I wasn't at the casino. And like you, there are 4 casinos locally so the temptation is huge and I can easily get to them by car. I had all kinds of elaborate plans as to how I would make the "big win" and what I would do with it. Having 5 grown kids and 5 grandkids only made me want to win more so I could help everyone and perhaps by being the hero, salvage the damaged relationships I had with them all. My marriage was on the brink of ending and my husband had had enough, with a capital E!

Work wise, I am a nurse and had too many days with sick/absences and they were not happy with me at all. If there wasn't a nursing shortage, I am sure I would have been fired. Needless to say, my attitude was not a healthy one at work, home or anywhere else for that matter and I spent way too much time alone. Add all this up and disaster was on my front step. I decided to do one more trip to the casino and then stop. Sure. Anyway, the last trip was the final one for my husband and he said either I get help or he gets an attorney. I love this man and he is really a good guy and to see the hurt on his face again finally registered. I got in touch with an addiction counselor, read the on-line information about Women helping Women and wrote to Marilyn.

She and I have been writing ever since and she has been an ever present inspiration for me. Last Saturday, I finally met her face to face at a mini-Gamblers Anonymous conference where she was the guest speaker.  Amazing.  I have been attending GA meetings as much as I can and they have given me the first hand knowledge that I am not unique in this addiction, and that there are so many sufferers still out there not having anyone to help them. Due to my work schedule and family commitments, I am starting out small in reaching out to other women to see if I can inspire them to take those small, first steps to recovery and a new life.

That is my introduction to you and I am hoping you and I will become good friends over the internet, supporting one another and growing in strength and freedom. If this is okay with you, let me know and I will answer you!!

Linda  from Arizona.
________________________________________

Hello Linda,

Thank you for writing to me. I'm not sure how much Marilyn has told you about me. I live in Australia and have had a long term addiction to gambling and there seems nothing I can do to stop it. I do not live close to any GA meetings as I live in a small Country town.

Two weeks ago I went to a hypnotist/therapist and this seems to have helped me, I have only gambled once in that time and I am due to see him again next Thursday - I have my fingers crossed but I do realize that there is no easy fix to this addiction and that it will take a lot of hard work to overcome it.

I am in a bad relationship that I need to address at some time but keep putting it off because of my gambling.  It is nice that you have e-mailed me and maybe we can become internet 'friends'. This is what I need badly as I have no one I can talk to about my gambling because I tend to hide it as much as I can.  Where do you live in the States Linda? I always had dreams about coming over to US but of course never had the money long enough to carry out my plans.

I have a lovely daughter who will be 40 years old next week (April 1st) and one 5 year old grandson who is a beautiful child. I need to stop this addiction NOW as I am getting older and need to put more time into my family.

Well Linda thank you again and thank you to Marilyn for giving you my e-mail.

Best wishes
Helen  from Australia

(These e-mails have been re-printed with permission from Linda and Helen. If any of our readers wish to correspond with someone from another country, please drop me a note and I’ll try to connect you with another female gambler.)
 

. . . . . . our clothes were soaked to the skin.

My younger sister and I walked to school that rainy morning. It was very chilly with rain being forecast throughout the evening. We arrived at school wet and cold, our clothes were soaked to the skin. I walked my sister to her classroom and then slowly went to mine. I knew there would be questions as to why I walked to school in such weather. My mother would be home sleeping if she was there. We never woke her before school or looked to see if she was in her room - she would be angry. We also knew not to miss school. Gambling became my mother's life and children were not going to be an inconvenience to her. My third grade teacher stared at me when I finally entered my classroom. She wanted to know why I would walk to school on a day like this. I never said a word. For me school became a haven away from our mother’s meanness after she gambled. Nothing mattered to her but the poker games. If I needed money for something she would say that she lost her money but that the next time would be different - it never was. My teacher let me sit by the warm radiators that heated our room. I knew that I would feel much better once my clothes began to dry.

I often wonder if my life would have been different for me if my mother would have loved me as much as she did gambling. Maybe I would have had a better chance in this world and my life wouldn't have been so screwed up. The way gambling is so alluring is sometimes puzzling to me. The advertisement put out by the casino’s makes me think that I will have so much fun gambling. I guess they have to let me feel real good while I lose my money. "There's a sucker born every minute" is a phrase often credited to P. T. Barnum ( 1810 – 1891), an American showman. I will remember it.

Linda Sommer Farley   Author of : A Childhood Taken Away by a Mother and grandfather

A Childhood Taken Away by a Mother and Grandfather by Linda Sommer Farley EAN: 9781413775198
 

WHY SHOULD I GET HELP?

I used to identify myself as the spouse of a compulsive gambler who never found her way into recovery. Today I identify myself as a grateful member of Gam-Anon.

Although I can identify many gamblers that are currently a part of my life, it is no longer paramount to my introduction at a Gam-Anon meeting to identify myself as the spouse, girlfriend, ex-spouse, widow, parent or sibling of a gambler.

There are several reasons I currently take this stance as a Gam-Anon member. I will reach back in time however, and attempt to share some of the highlights of this journey. Initially, I used rationalizations in my self-righteous posture to prove he was wrong and I was right.

I didn’t do anything wrong. I did not gamble, I did not drink or drug. I was the responsible parent. I was always there for the children, our family and our social obligations. I attended the parent-teacher conferences for our five children. I drove the children to their religious and extra circular activities. I did the shopping and housework. I tried to teach them right from wrong. I didn’t even know anything problematic or compulsive was going on with his gambling. He made money, he had fun playing poker and betting with his friends on the horses and sports. I didn’t handle the finances; he controlled the money in all ways. He made the money, invested it, paid the bills and controlled everything. I thought we owed 20 thousand dollars, when in fact we were 750 thousand dollars in debt.

If he loved me, he would stop. We (myself and the children) are obviously not that important to him. If we were, he would want to be home. He would spend more time with us, remember birthdays and

anniversaries, and show up for the family gatherings and stay for the entire celebration.

I attended my first Gam-Anon meetings in November of 1991 but I didn’t like what the members had to say. I wasn’t like them, I was different. I was not supposed to make the mistake of marrying a gambler. I was filled with shame and it wasn’t my problem. After all I was a mental health counselor. I knew about drug and alcohol addiction and he did not like to drink or use drugs.

All of what is written above is true. I was and am a good and responsible person. My resentments, anger, sadness, hurt, irritation and other uncomfortable emotions were having a negative impact on my life. In spite of all my goodness and good deeds, I continued to feel poorly - physically and emotionally. I isolated and avoided my friends and extended family members. I disconnected from myself and my spiritual community.

I hoped that by going to marriage counseling, he would shape up, give up gambling and return to see us as his priority. After several months, one counselor suggested I leave him. I couldn’t tolerate the notion of being alone and yet I was alone.

I did finally summon the courage to leave and took 4 of our 5 children with me. My car was repossessed and I had no money to get an apartment and my parents would not let me stay with them for many reasons. I turned to friends who gambled with him and already knew our story. One of them agreed to let me stay for a brief time until I could find other accommodations. I returned to Gam-Anon and open GA meetings. My husband attempted to reconcile and said he was getting some help but he wasn’t. He was still in action when he died of heart complications as a result of stress related to his gambling addiction.

After his death, I continued to be filled with anger, resentment, sadness and pain. However, the difference now was that he was gone and I was still experiencing all of the same emotions and they were mine. I was beginning to break through my denial for the role I played in the addiction cycle. Through my fellow members in Gam-Anon, I learned that I was only responsible for my behavior and not his and therefore, I could change my thoughts and feelings about the gambling problem in our family. I could be the change instead of waiting for him to change!

Now it is clear to me why I should, can and will benefit from help even if I am not the gambler. Today, over 17 years later, I am grateful to report that anger, resentment, sadness and hurt, still show up on my emotional radar screen. The difference is that I own these feelings. I embrace them and move through them so that the brilliance and grace of each day is apparent. I am blessed to be able to connect with my Gam-Anon and GA sisters and brothers on a regular basis, all over our great country and throughout many parts of the world!

My warmest and unconditional regard to those who continue to suffer and applause to those who really get that only we can change ourselves!
Renee
Renee Siegel, MS, LISAC, NCGG-II is the Executive Director of ABC Wellness Centres in Scottsdale, Mesa, and Prescott, Arizona. ABC offers out-patient, intensive out-patient and residential help to those impacted by problem gambling.  For more information about ABC Wellness Centres, call 480-991-9818 or visit: http://www.abcwellnesscentre.org

. . . the need to take care of myself . . . 

As a Licensed Independent Substance Abuse Counselor in Private Practice, I am grateful to say I also celebrate 27 years of recovery in Al-Anon and 20 years of recovery in the Gam-Anon program. Currently I limit my practice to USDOT Safety Sensitive clients. Because of that, I am ethically and morally comfortable attending both Open Al-Anon and Combo GA/Gam-Anon meetings without risking the possibility of discovering a potential "dual relationship" with a current client in the room.

I've learned from the GA's that Gam-Anons in attendance at a Combo meeting is extremely beneficial. A case in point is the meeting I attended last weekend. After the preliminaries, I opened the sharing with some unfinished business from a meeting earlier in the week. Presently I am coping with the third member of my family to be slammed by the disease of compulsive gambling. At that earlier meeting, I expressed the rage and resentment I was feeling due to having been told of a substantial amount of invested money being lost by that person. Toward the end of my sharing I talked about the need to take care of myself and one of my favorite tools being the 3rd Step Prayer. It was a huge relief to look around the room to see many heads being nodded. I was not judged for being angry.

In the weekend meeting, with some from the earlier meeting in attendance, I shared that I'd not slept for 2 nights and how the next day a tremendous wave of sadness came over me. I went on to talk about the person who, thank God, is beginning to deal with the utter devastation brought about by the behavior and loss of control. I'd had many sleepless nights with constant worry...not about the money but about the precious person that was so entangled and distraught to the point of having talked of harming himself. The obvious pain, the loss and grief I was feeling and the tears I was sharing must have struck some chords. There wasn't a dry eye at the table.

As the meeting progressed, each and every GA that shared (men and women) was tearful as they thanked their Higher Power for the gift of Gam-Anons being included in their meetings. Even some newcomers talked of learning, for the first time, about the impact their obsession has had on the family. Others expressed appreciation for being reminded. I've experienced that many times as I attend Combo meetings. I am always grateful when a GA thanks me for sharing as I know I represent a piece in their puzzle of recovery.

Bonnie Bianchi,  CADC,NCACII,SAP,ICADC,LISAC
Prescott, Arizona

 

Gripped by Gambling     http://www.grippedbygambling.com

 

As very few first person narratives have been written about women's experience of problem gambling, Gripped by Gambling by Marilyn Lancelot is like a flower blooming in a desert. The opening words, "Please, not in front of my grandson", spoken to the police as they are about to handcuff her, capture the anguish and pain that Marilyn's few short years of gambling have created in her life. With candor and clarity Marilyn takes her readers through years of struggling with multiple addictions, putting each to bed only to have another pop up like a weasel in a midway game. The book unravels a childhood history of family alcoholism and abuse, her empty marriage, alcoholism, life as a single mother, the tragic loss of her second husband, and a series of relationships over the years. The book takes us with her into a two-year prison sentence, at the age of 60, for embezzling $300,000 from her employer.

The narrative flows beautifully, weaving together events and the healing brought about by Marilyn's dogged attendance at Gamblers Anonymous, at a time in GA's history when women gamblers were most often treated with indifference, dismissed and sexualized, and driven away by chauvinistic attitudes such as "any monkey can pull the handle on a slot machine".

The paragraphs above have been excerpted from the Journal of Gambling Issues (JGI). The full review, by Roberta Boughton, can be found in Issue 22 of the JGI,   www.camh.net/egambling.
mslancelot@cox.net  

Whitehaven Gardens   (A seven-part serialized novel – Part V)   By Tim Falkiner ©

 

That afternoon in Geography a message arrived. The teacher read it and called me up. I had to see the school counsellor. Sitting outside the counsellor’s office I saw Polly walk up, her face white. ‘Hi. Pol,’ I said. This confirmed my suspicion, bordering on certainty, I was up before the school counsellor because of the questions I’d been asking about Mum’s problem. You can’t very well talk to three teachers without it getting around the common room. Also, as I’d mentioned before, Pol and I were on the watch list anyway because of Dad’s death so it wouldn’t have taken much to get us called in. Anyway, the school counsellor was popular enough and I was out of ideas. I had it all worked out. And I was wrong.

Mrs. Walker was a kindly, middle aged woman. She stood up smiling, looking us up and down; probably doing a quick check for any malnutrition, broken bones, cuts or bruises. ‘Well, well, you have grown!’ she exclaimed. She picked up and read the telephone message on her desk. ‘Everyone in your family is all right,’ she started. Well, that was good as far as it went; now for the bad news. ‘Is everything all right at home?’ she enquired. ‘Yes,’ I said. I felt sure I knew where this was going but felt it was better letting her do the talking. ‘There are the four of you, is that right? Michael, the two of you and your mother?’ ‘Yes,’ I answered. Michael was Buddy’s real name. ‘And is anyone else taking care of you?’ she asked making some notes in her diary.

‘Just Mum,’ I answered, thinking, ‘when she’s there.’ It is just that we had a call half-an-hour ago; it was from the police. I felt cold; we’d never had anything to do with the police. Polly looked startled. ‘It appears there are irregularities ...’, she stopped herself and said simply, ‘the police say your mother has been taking money from the bank.’ Six months ago I would have leapt to my feet and protested that my mother would never do such a thing. Now, I just sat there with Polly, my face red, feeling foolish and helpless. Polly started to laugh and kept on laughing. Mrs. Walker called the nurse to take Polly, now crying, off to the sick bay.

Mrs. Walker sat down at her desk, dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief. She got down to the real business, ‘I have spoken to the police and your mother. Your mother has been taken to the police station but I am sure she will be out in time for you when you get home. Anyway, if she is not, here is my mobile number and give me a call. All right? And if you have any concerns about Polly or Michael you be sure to let me know straight away. All right?’ ‘Yes,’ I replied to each question, thinking I didn’t want to be a school counsellor when I grew up. I was relieved I hadn’t told her my Mum was hardly ever home anyway. I should have, of course, but everything was happening so fast.
~~~
That night Mum was home when we returned from school. She was withdrawn and silent. Polly and I asked what questions we dared and she answered yes or no. Buddy quickly tuned out and absorbed himself in a video game. He was playing that game a lot. At eight o’clock, Mum stood up and said she had to go out. Where? Just out. And out she went. I opened the door and walked to the footpath in time to see her walking quickly, head down, towards the bus stop.
~~~
The next morning, Edith and Lucy were waiting for me. ‘What did Mrs. Walker want to see you about?’ Edith asked straight away. I’d been thinking about this moment all night. Would I keep my mother’s theft a secret or would I tell Edith and Lucy? They were my closest friends. I would feel awful keeping it from them and any advice I got from them would be pretty useless if they didn’t know. I felt it best to tell them. ‘Mum’s been taking money from the bank.’ ‘Well,’ said Lucy, ‘she would need money to put into the machines.’ ‘I think Judith means she has been stealing it,’ explained Edith looking at me. ‘Oh you poor thing!’ exclaimed Lucy. ‘Will she have to go to jail?’ Edith was never one for tact.
 
That question had been on my mind ever since I found out. And I was still being nagged by Mrs. Walker’s question as to who was looking after us. If Mum was sent to jail there would be no one. What happened when children had no one to look after them? Sure, some of the children at school had parents who had broken up. But there was always at least one parent who looked after them. We only had one parent, and if we lost her, even for a short while, I didn’t know what would happen.
~~~
I walked into my first class. I wasn’t surprised when the teacher called me over and asked me to go to Mrs. Walker’s office. I joined Polly who was already sitting outside in the corridor. Mrs. Walker looked out of her door and asked us to wait for a few minutes. We waited silently for about ten minutes then she reappeared and we went in. Mrs. Walker thought for a moment, then said, ‘It is unusual for someone like your mother to take money from her employer.’ A pause. ‘She strikes me as a very nice woman.’ ‘Yes,’ I answered. Another pause. Then she observed, ‘Judith, you’ve been asking some of the teachers about slot machines.’ I looked at her. ‘Have you noticed any change in your mother recently?’ she asked. ‘You must tell me, not only for your own sake but also to help your mother. I just want to help.’

It all came pouring out. It wasn’t that I hadn’t wanted to tell her. It was just that I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to make any mistakes. But I’d run out of ideas. I’d tried to solve the problem with the help of my friends but things were getting more and more out of control. So I told her everything. Our growing concern about Mum’s behaviour. How I tracked Mum down to the hotel. How Lucy and I went into the gaming room and found her. How I’d gone back to ask them not to let her in. Buddy’s excursion. ‘And we just don’t know what to do,’ I trailed off, exhausted but, in a way, relieved. She sat and listened, making no interruption to my long story. She looked at Polly who simply nodded and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

‘Well, you’ve shown a great deal of courage and resourcefulness,’ Mrs. Walker said, smiling. ‘But you should have come to me sooner; that’s what I’m here for.’ She added, not unkindly. ‘I’ve been worried something like this might happen,’ she went on, talking to herself more than us, ‘but your grades have been all right. If I had found out you were asking about slot machines I would have called you in straight away. This police business hit first.’ So, we had been on a watch list. Well, I expected as much. She outlined a plan of action, ‘The first thing is the trial will be some months off. So we have to make sure you are all right in the meantime. Hopefully your mother won’t be sent to jail but if that happens we will take action then. Our first task is to make sure you are all right for the moment.’ ‘But they wouldn’t send Mum to jail, would they?’ I asked with growing alarm. Mrs. Walker smiled, but then her smile faded. ‘I hope not. I certainly hope not. But it was a lot of money.’ ‘But she’s not well. Won’t they see that? She wouldn’t ever have stolen before! It must be the machines! It must be!’

Polly broke down at this point. She’d been bottling it up for months. ‘We’ve tried so hard since Dad died; we really have!’ she wailed. ‘It’s been hard for us too. So hard. Does she think we don’t miss him? We do! We do! How we miss him! Why is she doing this to us? Why is she so selfish! Doesn’t she love us? Can’t she see what she is doing?’ More wailing. ‘No, no,’ soothed Mrs. Walker, shooing me away and sitting beside Pol. ‘Your mother loves you more than ever. Your mother has been taken over by the machines but it’s like an, an enchantment,’ she said, choosing a word that would have appealed to Mr. Baroja. ‘Your mother is under an enchantment. But she is still the same kind, warm, caring person underneath who loves you, who has always loved you, very dearly. An enchantment simply lies over the true person and takes control of them.’ ‘When will it stop?’ she asked, wiping tears away. ‘Will she go back to the machines?’ ‘I hope not,’ said Mrs. Walker, looking grave. ‘Often, when something serious happens, like the police becoming involved, a person who is gambling will get a shock and snap out of it. Also,’ she added, ‘your mother won’t have the money to keep playing the machines. It will go better in court if she can keep away from them.’

I thought of Mum standing in the court room and shuddered. We’d been on an excursion to the local court and seen people standing being sentenced but I’d never in my wildest dreams imagined that could happen to Mum. I couldn’t imagine how she’d cope. She hadn’t been coping since Dad’s death. ‘Now is there someone who can look after you?’ asked Mrs. Walker. ‘I must be sure you are going to be all right. How often is your mother away? And is there anybody in the house who can look after you when your mother is away?’ There is only Pol and me, and we look after Buddy,’ I answered sadly. ‘And how much food is there in the house?’ she asked. ‘We have enough to eat,’ I replied. ‘And everything is okay?’ she asked. ‘Yes,’ I replied.

‘Does your mother have a relative who lives nearby?’ ‘Well, not nearby, but there’s Aunt Jane,’ I said. Aunt Jane was Mum’s sister. She lived in a nearby city, about an hour away. We don’t see her much, particularly not since Dad’s death. ‘Do you have her ‘phone number?’ ‘No, but it’s in the telephone directory at home.’ ‘Do you know what her name is and where she lives?’ asked Mrs. Walker. I told Mrs. Walker Aunt Jane’s full name and where she lived. Mrs. Walker said she would try and ring her during the day to see if Aunt Jane could work out some way of making sure we were all right at home.

Chapter 10 - Escape

At lunchtime the others eagerly awaited the latest news. ‘Well,’ I said, ‘Mrs. Walker has put two and two together and realized that Mum’s got a problem with the machines.’ I was going to say, ‘a problem with gambling,’ but somehow it just didn’t seem like that. I’d seen the Melbourne Cup on television and everyone had been jumping up and down and shouting; this seemed quite different.
‘Was she upset you didn’t tell her before?’ asked Edith. ‘Not really, though she did say it would have been a good idea if I had,’ I replied. ‘What will happen now?’ asked Lucy. ‘She’s going to ring my Aunt Jane,’ I answered, ‘but I don’t know what Aunt Jane will do.’ ‘What’s your aunt like?’ asked Lucy. ‘She’s nice enough. She’s Mum’s elder sister and Mum looks up to her. But she has a family of her own and lives over an hour away.’

Mr. James strolled up to us. ‘I’m sorry to hear about your mother, Judith.’ There was an awkward silence; then I asked Mr. James a question that had been bothering me, ‘Mr. James, I don’t understand what Mum has been doing. You said the other day that people got excitement from gambling, but Mum didn’t look excited, she looked sad.’ I went on to tell Mr. James about how I’d watched the Melbourne Cup on television and had seen the crowds jumping up and down, smiling and cheering and others looking angry or annoyed. ‘I was describing a different form of gambling, Judith,’ explained Mr. James softly. ‘I didn’t know about your mother then. There are two ways people can become problem gamblers. The first way is by becoming addicted to the excitement they get from gambling. It is called ‘action’ gambling and the gamblers experience a high, a rush. But I doubt very much that is the case with your mother.’ After a pause he went on, ‘The second way is by people, particularly women with slot machines, using gambling as a form of escape. With escape gambling there is no excitement, no high. The gamblers use gambling to dissociate, to block out, to occupy their minds so they don’t have to think about something bad.’

‘Like Judith’s mother trying to forget the pain of Judith’s Dad …,’ said Lucy. ‘Exactly,’ agreed Mr. James, ‘Judith’s mother would be an escape gambler. A lot of women problem gamblers, men too, use slot machines to block out pain, like, say, morphine blocks out pain. Before slot machines were introduced there were very few women problem gamblers. They were a rarity. Now, about half of those seeking treatment for problem gambling are women.’ Lucy was horrified, ‘That’s dreadful!’

Later that day when we were in maths, Edith spoke to the teacher, Mr. Bromley, ‘My mother tells me you can play for ten cents a time. How could Judith’s mother have lost so much money, hundreds of thousands of dollars?’ Mr. Bromley looked up. ‘That’s easy.’ He said. ‘She doesn’t have to play just ten cents each bet. She can play any multiple up to ten times and she can play up to twenty-five lines. So if she is playing ten times ten cents, a dollar, on twenty-five lines that is twenty-five dollars.’ ‘But I am sure they don’t have anything like twenty-five lines,’ I protested. ‘They do if you take all the diagonals and so on,’ he explained. ‘Oh,’ I replied, trying to picture it. ‘Now she only loses, say, ten percent of that, two dollars fifty on average. But with a bet every three seconds that is over a thousand bets an hour, two thousand five hundred dollars an hour.’ ‘And she was there for hours and hours each night,’ I added gloomily. ‘She could have lost twenty thousand dollars each night,’ said Edith, still doing her calculations, ‘and, golly, over a hundred thousand dollars in a week!’ ‘But it would take you ages to put all the coins in,’ protested Lucy.

‘The machines take fifty dollar notes,’ pointed out the teacher. ‘In some states the machines are limited to, say, ten dollars per spin. But that still runs out at over a thousand dollars an hour and it wouldn’t be difficult for her to go through hundreds of thousands of dollars in six months. How much did she lose?’ he asked. ‘They don’t know yet,’ I replied sadly, ‘they are still counting. Hundreds and hundreds of thousands.’ I shrugged. It was my mother I was worried about. The amount was not really important to me; though I was sure it would be to the grown-ups. ‘Why didn’t she just play at ten cents at a time?’ asked Lucy. The same thought had occurred to me. ‘I don’t know,’ replied the maths teacher. I didn’t think the money was important to Mum. But if the money wasn’t important, why did she put so much into the machines?

(The novel contains fourteen chapters and it will be serialized over seven months with two chapters being published each month.)
 

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